Melissa Harlow

Melissa Harlow, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Email: mharlow@coastalcollectivecounseling.com

Welcome to our practice! I am the founder of Coastal Collective Counseling and I am happy to share a bit more about myself in the hope that we are able to find a way to connect. I am a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over a decade of professional experiences. A common thread in my work has been the power of storytelling and learning the various chapters in people’s lives as they try to write their next one. I began my work with youth in a residential treatment facility, which served as an alternative for incarceration. I remember the first day that I was there, one of the residents came over to shake my hand, only later to become angry at another resident and tear up the facility. 9-months later, this person graduated from the facility and we parted ways on a hug. I remember the clients that I worked with in prison, patients who never knew my first name in order to keep boundaries and distance. Our work together would end on a handshake, a very meaningful encounter given the coldness and fragility of spending 25-years to life incarcerated. More recently, I have worked with both new and ending couples. While sometimes non-traditional relationships, the stories have nonetheless been beautiful and inspiring to watch. I share these moments because I remember every client that I have ever worked with; I learn from them as I hope they do from me and I take this work together very seriously. The therapeutic relationship is a special one with ripple effects that can last forever.

As you have probably guessed, my work started in the juvenile and criminal justice systems and this remains a passion of mine. But over the years, my interests have expanded and I also extensively work with couples and with individuals going through divorce or who are ending relationships. I am certified in Gottman Level I training and my approach is largely psychodynamic, tying together past experiences and relationship bonds to current behaviors, all the while building insight into underlying motivators and defenses. Weaving together the chapters upon chapters of your personal creation and future direction.

If you are reading this and pursuing therapy, you may be in a great deal of distress and emotional pain, hoping to find a way to alleviate and to manage it. In working with me, you can expect a warm and curious approach. I am non-judgement as we process your deepest thoughts and emotions. I offer feedback when appropriate but I am also very aware of the power of silence because you, better than anyone, are best at tapping into what you really need and how to achieve it. Together, we will build insight, distress tolerance, healthy coping, relational skills, and new perspectives as you begin to feel aligned with who you are and with your values in this world. If you are interested in working together, please reach out and I would be happy to connect with you.